SO! Of course the VMA Pre-Show is what we look forward to if we're self declared Fashionistas and Fashionistos. I actually look forward to Courtney Love flinging her compact and other objects belonging to her purse at Madonna during an interview, which will probably never happen again. VMA Fashion Correspondent Ashley green was CLEARLY afraid to go up to people and flat out ask them what they were wearing. We didn’t get many of the designer names attached to some of those beautiful gown's and Tuxedos but its OK, Fashionistas, let her live. The first horrible discovery that we all made was that GASP! Shakira and Pink had on the SAME EXACT BALMAIN LEATHER DRESS!!! OMG! Let's get new stylists ladies. Things like this should never happen because your stylist isn't supposed to be looking for what’s "In style" They're supposed to be looking for something AMAZING! The dresses were Gorgeous, of course, but they were a tad bit boring for a Red Carpet event.
Of Course we were all waiting to see what Lady GaGa would wear. She always wears the most immaculate costumes; however I think that more people (like me) were trying to see what Amber Rose would wear. Amber, we get it, your body was personally etched by God, with loving care. You are a GODDESS! However, you don't have to continuously show all your ASSetts off. She would have looked gorgeous in a long gown with a deep plunge in the back (since Bey did the front).
This is the moment you have all been waiting for. Lady Gaga stepped onto the red carpet wearing; what you guys call weird, but I call daring and AMAZING Jean Paul Gaultier gown and included what looked like a feather Neck Brace while her Date - Kermit the frog, was decked out in a lovely suit. She also accepted her best new artist award in a Freddy Krueger-esque red lace get up which covered her from crown to toe. I eventually turned around after her red lace outfit and she was rocking a white gown with a Bird's nest around her head. I will have to say, the birds nest outfit wasn't exactly one of my favorites. In fact, I thought that maybe gaga was reaching a bit.
Katy Perry wore spiked silver gown made by Blonds.
Jennifer Lopez, whom I absolutely adore despite what pop culture critics have written about her, wore a Louis Vuitton gown which was... different. We can dislike her outfit all day BUT THOSE SHOES MAKE UP FOR EVERYTHING! Yes they sure do.
Beyonce wore a very lovely red mini dress ensemble with a deep plunging V in front. She always keeps her outfits very subtle, but not boring. She's such a Lady. Wave to the fans Bey!
Let's not let Kanye and Lil' Mama make us forget about Wale's great Job with the house band. Now that the previous statement has been made, lets move on to the Hilarious Moments.
The first funny part of the night is OF COURSE, When Beyonce is being given a pre-show interview and Julian gets in the way. Beyonce had to Let Sasha get fierce, telling her bodyguard "Nuh Unnn, S'cuse me". While still managing to keep her Halo floating above her head and smiling.
The show started of with the choreography of Michael Jackson's many amazing dance routines; from Thriller, To Smooth criminal - performed on stage with some of his most memorable costumes (i.e. the red jacket with the zippers, the black and white suit) being worn. Janet Jackson comes out to dance to the one song that her and her brother had recorded together - Scream. Of course the crowd went wild and Damita Jo confidently walked off of the stage after dishing an amazing performance. That performance was; by far, the most amazing dedication, outside of the one given to him in California following his funeral done since his passing.
Then The Awards started being distributed to their RIGHTFUL owners (No Matter what you believe), and Kanye subsequently began to *Clears throat* SHOW HIS ASS! Many people were angered including Pink, who tweeted "Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote Me." And Katy Perry, who tweeted "F*** You Kanye, It's like You Stepped On a kitten". Those of you who think he did the right thing because you are Beyonce Lovers, Let me ask you this, would "Ye'" have done it to Jim Jones? Dame Dash? Would he have done it to Young Jeezy? The alcohol gives you liquid courage, but I don’t think it makes you that brave. Kanye would have gotten them lines in his haircut knocked straight. That’s word to The Source Awards and Rutgers Games. Guess Kanye Wanted to run this stage tonight. Obama has something to say about Kanye's Opinion
But, the heavenly Angel Beyonce, the Queen of all things Cajun let Sasha Fierce relax for her speech and gave it up for Taylor Swift to finish hers. That’s cool; we’ve heard Beyonce speeches since Gifts from Virgo first dropped. A New-Comer is welcomed.
The Craziness doesn't stop there. Russell brand, we don’t know where to begin and we have NO IDEA where to start with your very rude, and disrespectful Jokes. I liked him much better this year, than I did last year; you have to be extremely immersed in Pop Culture to understand most of his jokes. The Gaga Has a penis Joke Killed me, however the reference to Meagan Foxx and her declaring that she had "Multiple personalities, and that she knows something is wrong with her but she has no idea how to pin-point it" went over alot of people's heads. Ah, Oh Well. The night went on Kanye West Got kicked out, being left to rub Ambers Baldy and ask it if he'll be invited to next years VMA's while sipping his Henny.
Everything else was a blur, until Lady Gaga's performance. She had wheelchairs, crutches, canes and Blood all over the stage. Then, she hung herself... *Blank Stare*. I couldn't clap, boo, or even say WTF? I did understand the performance but ....WOW. I actually loved it, she's a performer.
Lady Gaga also dedicated her "New Artist of the Year Award to ....GOD and the GAYS. Perez Hilton Loves you, darling.
SKIP, FASTFORWARD.
Lil' Mama Jumped on Stage during the conclusion of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' showcasing of "Empire State Of Mind" off of Jay's new, Blue Print 3 album, which is in stores Now. Where is Celebrity Security when you need them? Hov ignored her, hugged Alicia Keys, and then the jokes began. Fabolous then began his tirade of #lilmamais related tweets disrespecting a fellow Brooklynite (Shakes My Head, Schitzo (Me) don’t like this).
The Night ended, and we tweeted, talked, and text about it all night. This is one awards show that will be talked about for a while, good job ladies and gentlemen. Plenty of stylists will be fired, Celebrity security will be beefed up to keep celebs off of the stage when not receiving an award, and alot of people have finally gotten their answer to a HUGE question that has been burning inside of all of us for weeks LADY GAGA DOES NOT HAVE A PENIS!
Lets Not forget the winners:
Video of the Year: Beyonce Knowles – ‘Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)’
Best New Artist: Lady Gaga – ‘Poker Face’
Best Hip-Hop Video: Eminem – ‘We Made You’
Best Male Video: T.I. ft Rihanna – ‘Live Your Life’
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears – ‘Womanizer’
Best Rock Video: Green Day – ‘21 Guns’
Best Female Video: Taylor Swift – ‘You Belong With Me’
Best Video (That Should Have Won A Moonman): ‘Beastie Boys – Sabotage’
Breakthrough Video: Matt And Kim – ‘Lessons Learned’
Best Art Direction: Lady Gaga – ‘Paparazzi’
Best Choreography: Beyonce – ‘Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)’
Best Cinematography: Green Day – ‘21 Guns’
Best Direction: Green Day – ‘21 Guns’
Best Editing: ‘Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)’
Best Special Effects: Lady Gaga – ‘Paparazzi’
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